I am really struggling with whether or not I should work or if I should stay at home. Most women I have met who have given up their jobs to be stay at home moms really didn't make much money at all in their positions. While I don't make a fortune, my salary is pretty competitive for either a man or a woman especially for a job where travel isn't required. I work for a company that is growing and has a lot of money to throw around. The problem is that I never really enjoyed my job. I somehow fell into information systems with the rest of the job seekers in the early 1990's and I have stuck with it for the fear of not being self sufficient at the detriment of my own happiness. So, now I am in my mid 30's and I am thinking of quitting to be with my newly born daugher, Adrianna. Ignorantly, I did not realize how much work a new born requires and although my husband and I both agree this could be a great opportunity for me to find a new path/career, I am afraid that I wont have the time or energy and that I will wake up in my 50's wondering what I have done with my life. I can hardly believe I am in my 30's and that my need for security has gotten me so far off track from my dreams. I have a habit of only seeing the short term when it comes to my career...money. I worry because we need a new car, and furniture and we need to save for Adrianna's college education. I somehow cannot put the same faith in my ability to carve a new career for myself as I do in other areas of my life. For instance, most people told me I was crazy to do natural child birth. But somehow I knew it was right for me so I did the research and I prepared by taking classes and making sure I had the support I needed to successfully go through with it. And I would have had it any other way. I have also known my whole life that I didn't fit in corporate america, yet it is safe and it offers consistent income. I have been willing to trade off my happiness for security because I am afraid of failure. I need to change my life not only for myself but also for my daughter. I do not want her to have an unhappy unfulfilled mother as a role model.